girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
Everything tastes like Lysol. Am I dying?
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
He was trying to talk to me about standards while he had a french fry box on his hand like a glove and was using it to flatten his cheeseburger.
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
I jumped the fence at the bar last night. My dress got stuck and I ended up flashing the entire patio for a good 30 seconds.
At the 10 second mark everyone started to whistle and cheer. Free drinks all night
I tried to get the guy I like to “spit shake” on a sexual bet... why am I such a bro fml
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