just took a shot of grandma at the fucking bowling alley... this is going to be interesting
i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather.
i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
I thought my dog was a polar bear. I kept asking how the north pole was this time of year.
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
Had weird bad dreams about you last night. Please tell me you didn't google my real surname and that you don't go to a needle exchange.
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
Vodka, MiraLAX and Gatorade are perfect for the night before a colonoscopy
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