she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
Totally just drove past you riding your bike. I was like damn, that looks like a cute little hipster boy, and then I realized it was you and that I'd already banged you and it kinda made my day. I hope you're well. Come over soon?
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
Growing a beard is gonna make smoking a pipe look so much more majestic
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
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