WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
My friends son got stung by a jellyfish over the weekend and we seriously stood there debating on whether or not we should pee on this toddler.
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
Randomize
