She STILL went home with me even when I said yes when she asked if I had an infectious disease. Turns out she asked if I had an infectious spirit...well she has my infectious spirit now
Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
I JUST WANT TO SIT IN MY UNDERWEAR AND WATCH THE BRAVES GAME AND NOT BE CONSTRAINED BY MY ED SHEERAN SHORTS
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
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