I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
I figured out why I insisted on leaving my sweater on the ground outside. I smelled it and I'm 97% sure I peed on it last night
At least you have booty calls.
True. I just waste them though. I feel like I need to be told "there are people in this world who would give anything for just one and you have two." You know in that same tone your parents told you about the starving people in china
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
Sorry blacked out and lost my phone. Judging by the looks of my body I fought a cat and fell into a bush.
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
My heart feels like a grape in a barrel about to be crushed into wine
Are you saying I'm your favorite hot mess?
I'm actually my favorite my hot mess, but you're a close second.
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
When my card got declined you bought the vibrator without me even asking. This is what friendship is.
Randomize
