Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
We've only been driving for two hours and I'm already down 3 vicodin...I'm not going to survive this family vacation.
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
We legitimately thought something was wrong with you until someone pointed out you were just doing the thriller dance
Before you even think your day was worse than mine, I had to disinfect and and stitch another dude's penis after his prince Albert got ripped out by an angry chick.
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
i told her i loved her afterwards and she said "i know," kissed me, and got up to start making breakfast.
dude, she han solo'd you. keep her.
I just love that it's Veterans Day because I know in my heart that I have serviced some of their brethren in the dirtiest, hottest, most shameful ways possible.
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
Randomize
