I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
your mom just called me and asked me why i'm not in jail with you right now.
I don't remember much of last night. But I woke up with very apologetic texts from him this morning so apparently I didn't get laid. Which is stupid.
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
my throat is bruised, my back is scarred, my vagina feels like it's going to fall off.. you're like godzilla. you destroy everything.
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
I shaved an Xmas tree into my junk.... I placed your present underneath.
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
My girl friends dad just asked how I get so drunk and then he passed out with a bloody Mary in his hand on the couch it's 230 do you know where your parents are
Of course he’s picking me up at the airport. I taught him the Lotus position last time we had sex.
Randomize
