On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
Its 6am. Um if my mom for some reasons asks, you stopped by my house around ten and had some wine with me. She is concerned I drank a whole bottle by myself. Woke me at 6am to interrogate..Thank god my pounding head thinks fast.
PS We had chips too. She is less concerned about the whereabouts of the chips but still a good lie always needs detail.
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
I'm in a waiting room at the hospital - and there's a dude here who is WAY too proud of his urine sample.
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
he looked at me and said 'happiness is a warm blanket' then stole my vodka.
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
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