And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
it was really awkward meeting your mom for the first time while i was still wearing the condom we were using.
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
Did you know that taking off a bra with teeth burns ninty calories?
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
My manager said you offered to make out with him to ensure I keep my job if I didn't show up to work today
My greatest achievement in life thus far is being the go to friend when you have questions about butt plugs.
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
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