Once again you get dinner and all I get is semen on my leg
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
Oh my god. My pre-date bowl for nerves tuned into "I'm too high for this date" he kept talking about trucks and I couldn't stop making racial slurs.
The cabbie told us to at least pretend we weren't doing coke while he was driving
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
I just totok an inventory of my purse: 1 apple, 1 pair of underwear, 7 condoms, $18 in ones, a check with "for sexual healing" in the subject line, and a 4 oz bottle of wine.
Oh! and a letter from a judge saying I got an interview. Cause that balances it out.
He just snapchatted me a picture of his cock. The angle makes it look like a freakin skyscraper. Thinking of photoshopping a little monkey on it.
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
I had a dream I got back with Amanda. And then cheated on her the same day. Even my conscious is a dick
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
Like when your most normal sex dream is you being a prostitute, you know it's been one long ass dry spell.
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
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