I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
Just bartered a McD's cheeseburger and fries for two pitchers. Oregon Trail ain't got shit on me.
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
Just in case you forgot, last night you came home drunk and pissed all over my laptop. You owe me a laptop.
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
Randomize
