I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
Excuse me hold on, hooking up with someone who is verified on twitter is like being important.
On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
He called my vagina his wife... how is that NOT creepy?!
Randomize
