Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
so he came in me this morning and i was like WTF DUDE. i called him Daddy until he agreed to pay the full $40 for plan B. He wants to name our Patrick because it will be a st pattys day baby. absolutely NOT.
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
NOT EVEN KIDDING RIGHT NOW. THE GUY IN THE SPIDERMAN COSTUME JUST FELL OFF THE ROOF INTO A BABY POOL. GET HERE NOW!!
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
How do I say “I have great tits” without it sounding awful
The cat hopped on my bed and watched me masturbate naked with a vibrator. I've never felt more sorry in my entire life
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
Randomize