I'm good, just tired from chardonnay and giving hand jobs.
I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
This is drunk me apologizing to sober me in advance.. I am sprry about you're trashed house. Mom an dad will be home by 5 so get up and clean. P.s. Mike is in the closet passed out.
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
It's not my fault I make her feel like a Taylor Swift album
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
Randomize
