I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
a girl just walked by me crying on the phone saying, "all I ever do is menstruate"
I usually would've stopped there but I kinda remember opening the bottle of vodka, and we ALL know that's when things go downhill.
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
I made out with a bride-to-be last night at the bar. Jesus died for our sins right?
I feel the need to send all my exes pictures of penises larger than theirs. Because they all must suffer.
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it.
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
You ran up a $300 bar bill on his card and he didn't have you arrested, be grateful and move on.
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
Randomize
