You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
You came in at two thirty, wearing your underwear and a tie then asked where you could find a sombrero and a pair of stilletos that would fit your men's size thirteen feet.
Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
Me and your penis are best friends. You don't know it, but I whisper my secrets whenever I give you blowjobs. We even have a secret handshake. We can't be separated from each other. We just can't.
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
I'm driving while wearing hulk hands
If I come back tomorrow to find a certain football player tied up and locked in your closet, shit's gonna get real.
I'll set him free tomorrow morning ;)
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
My mom added me on Snapchat which means I am officially done with Snapchat.
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
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