U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
I just puked into a plastic bag at a red light. Go me.
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
I woke up hugging a loaf of bread and a water bottle this morning
My face left an imprint in the loaf...
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
I told him I had to grab my Swedish fish from the car before they froze. Then I just left. But the fact that he knew how important it was not to have my fish freeze almost made me come back in....almost.
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
Randomize
