just woke up and my boobs have "fun police" written on them
would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
I looked at her and said "I now pronounce you pumpkin tits"
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
Cover your peen. We're going out.
I swear to god my spidey sense only tingles when someone’s about to die or you’re being a hoe.
Randomize
