Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
Nothing says I've got my life together like buying a jumbo bottle of 7$ wine in sweat pants on a monday night
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
I'm using the Malibu pitcher you stole from the bar to make pancakes this morning. It's actually working really well.
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
Sorry I missed your call. I was in the shower washing away my sins and sweat. Please tell me you want to get drunk as shit later.
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
Randomize
