she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
Last night she showed me how to clean my bowl and now she's drunk making peanut butter filled cookies. Best. Roommate. Ever.
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
Things I just found under my covers: protein bar, string cheese, vibrator.
The bar has bullet holes in the ceiling, and the country singer had been playing drunken weezer covers. A man just bought me a beer on the grounds that I 'have his back' in a fist fight with a stranger texan. And, yes, the bartender is wearing a sherif's badge
There is a reason for guards on beard trimmers I just clipped a wrinkle on my sack so much blood
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
Randomize
