Oh my god he is having a sentimental moment right now.
He just sent me like a really heartfelt confession of love in which he ended with "make the apt, I'll hold your hand while you get your clit pierced."
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
But life is now good. Well, not good, good would be not wearing the penis hat with the extended family of the boy I just cheated on, but as good as it's going to get today
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
I seriously just drove by a man walking down the street wearing hospital scrubs, an 80s track jacket, gold necklace and carrying a flute.
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
So I decided to sleep with him for the first time in months so I can convince him it's his kid instead of the other guy
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
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