i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine.
"people in the room" being me.
Grandma just handed out bail money... it's officially christmas
I had to have my mom pick me up from the party and the windows lock was on so when I went to projectile vomit out the window it wouldn't roll down and it splashed back at my face.
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
DAMMIT. BOHEMIAN RHAPSODY IS GONNA GET STUCK IN MY HEAD AGAIN. FUCK YOU OLYMPICS.
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
Why did you fed-x me a peanut butter sandwich?
It seemed like the thing to do. There's popcorn on it too.
STOP smoking sooo much weed. Damn
as I was leaving in the morning with his clothes on his roommate pops up and goes 'don't you dare steal that shirt, i gave it to him for his birthday'.
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
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