How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
Johns diaper came in the mail. He's freaking out thinking there's some conspiracy going on since he sharted on the drive home from st. Louis
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
I CAN CONTROL MY GERBIL WITH MY BREATH. HE FOLLOWS THE SMELL. PROBABLY WOULDNT BE AS EXCITING IF I WASNT HIGH OFF MY ASS, BUT STILL
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
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