ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
I have six drafts of messages to you that just say "blood" and I have no idea where they came from.
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
I just saw a bunch of drunk old guys riding on the side of a modified old fire truck yelling at cars and smoking while they looked for parking...promise we will be just like them when we grow up?
I'm craigslisting fire trucks as we speak
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
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