are you still at the devil's house?
Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
He kept buying me shots of tequila. I decided to just save myself the half hour of toilet hugging and tell him straight up that I intended on sleeping with him. We got Tacos on the way home with all the money we saved.
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
I just need you to stay far enough away that I can't smell your cologne. I completely forget that I fucking hate you as soon as I smell it.
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
I put the child locks on after I put you in the car and you then screamed, "I am a Phoenix, you can't restrain me. I NEED TO FLY!"
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
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