Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
I'm pretty sure I just crapped out my pancreas. I have 2 of those, right?
I know it basically makes me the worst feminist ever, but I don't want to kill my own spiders. And I will pay my personal spider hit man with sammiches and unlimited , uninhibited access to my vagina.
She was purple for Halloween. She literally spray-painted herself purple and called it a costume. It won't come off.
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
I held the blackjack dealer's hand and told the old asian woman she was 'soft to the touch, but cold as ice"
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
We won like $80 last night at the casino, so if we get the Plan B we still have enough to get your basic bitch latte from Dunkin. Calm down.
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
Randomize
