Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
I just found puke in my bra..
Best. Handjob. Ever.
I'm guessing Kelly is over?
Nope. Home alone.
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
Also. When I die, I'm gonna have them put me in the casket naked and then have an open casket funeral. That will be my last chance to make people uncomfortable.
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
I sort of feel bad for this orthodontist. The things that have been in my mouth in the past 12 hours aren't exactly socially acceptable.
Randomize
