What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
You're the only person I know who could blow literal chunks, laugh about it, then proceed to shotgun another beer. Love you champ.
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
He threw up on my head while I was blowing him, and then I started barfing, and the kitchen floor was a mess. Believe me, he will never, ever live this down.
"You're the only girl I haven't made out with yet" = worst pick up line ever
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
Currently using my kid's computer to charge my vibrator. #thisis30ish
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
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