if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
I made out with a 40 year old and told her we were dating then got kicked out of a gay bar. This is the day I stop drinking.
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
my downstairs neighbor came by to say he’s having a huge loud party tomorrow, handed me a toblerone bar, and said thank you in advance for your understanding
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