my mario cart skills improve with alchohol. and i think my real car skills do to but the cop didnt see my logic
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
Woke up. Found about 20 condoms upstairs. A hole in the couch. Bread on the floor. Going back to sleep.
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
I know you won't see this for awhile, but I had to tell somebody, and you're like the only person who won't judge me for having an accidental erotic encounter with General Tso's chicken.
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
Randomize
