I went to blockbuster, where I always go when I need to soul searching
Despondent, hopeless, I decide on vantage point, because I vaguely resemble matthew fox (let me believe this, please)
It was cheaper to buy then rent, so now I'm stuck w/ a wretched hangover and I own this shit movie
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
I love you. Happy valentines. Satin Patricks dayyyyyyyyyy. Alreadythrew up. Geeeeerait.
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
I woke up this morning and my house is covered in shredded cheese with my laptop open and a google image search for "awesome shit".
Randomize
