I wanna passion pit in your ass
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
I just got dropped off by that cop that pulled you over. Best sex ever! Consider that $140 ticket my birthday present.
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
The perfect man would keep a whisky sour in my hand and give me endless sex. I really don't think that's too much to ask for.
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
Randomize
