I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
So some girl kept staring at me and giving me these weird looks. That's when I realized she could probably hear the Mulan soundtrack playing on my iPod...
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
whoever put homecoming and halloween on the same weekend owes me a new liver and a get out of jail free card.
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
I successfully navigated a full, lengthy interaction with my dad in which he never asked me if I was freshly baked. 10 points.
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
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