just caught grandpa beating off in the living room
He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
mom just texted me "hawaii ambien". those are like the two things she talks about to keep me interested in spending time with her.
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
I know you're very busy with sleep and things, but when you wake up we need to talk about weirdly shaped penises.
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
Randomize
