sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
Fixing to yell "you're too hot for her" at a Gerard butler look alike. There is absolutely no way this is going to end well...
You made out with two different species that night
Last night you made me help you pick the raisins out of a kashi bar and acted like it was the most important thing to ever happen to you or our friendship
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
Randomize
