I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
a guy named alex was hitting on my friend tonight. he doesnt work on wind turbines tho.
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
Shit. We're going to have to drink until they're cute
Hello cirrhosis
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
I'm posted up in the bathroom at au bon pain, high as balls, experimenting with eyeshadow combinations and listening to 90s jlo. The girl in the stall next to me just plopped a big one and I laughed, hope I ruined her day
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
Randomize
