My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
I just scrubbed chocolate off the bathtub... You better have had a damn good birthday
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
i woke up to something itchy on my head. it was his mustache. he fell asleep face-plant style on the side of my head. WTF?
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
Life Goals: never under any circumstances, pee in an elevator again. No matter how drunk
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
Randomize
