Theres puke in my trash can and spilled beer next to my bed... come get your girlfriend
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
He gave up on mugging us when Dave wouldn't stop laughing. He was wiggling his finger at the knife and making baby noises and giggling. The guy just walked away.
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
Oh god our sink is a cavalcade of horrors. Brb sacrificing a goat and putting everything in the dishwasher forever
Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
And pointless. I'm fully vested in all my calories coming from booze today. The salad just fucks that shit up
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
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