my vagina has a 5:00 shadow
My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist
He asked me if I wanted to play "Edouard Mandevan," turns out that's French for Edward Winehands
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
You drunk-dialed me and asked me to describe my burrito
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
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