does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
He showed up to fuck me at the same time the pizza guy did. It was like everything I needed just showed up at my stoop.
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
Dear slutty diary: I lied about feeling guilty of being a homewrecker in order to have more sex. it worked.
Are you responsible for the syringes and miniature cactus garden that has magically taken over my fridge?
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
I'm so incredibly high right now the fact I am texting is nothing short of miraculous. Call the Pope. Hell make me Saint Roy, patron of stoners.
so you ordered business cards online last night with a picture of your dick on them. you need to hide that new credit card when you drink
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
I always know im high when I can't remember how to pee.
Randomize
