I slept walked to the toilet and woke up pooping. Easily one of the most disorienting events of my life.
i asked why he had a giant piece of popcorn duct taped to his head and he said "No, it's actually part of my neck." so no, i didn't fuck him.
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
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