he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
I recommend you throw your keys as far as you can in one direction, your phone as far as you can in the opposite direction, and hold on.
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
Your mom asked you why you had bite marks all over your arms and you answered her by yelling "I HAD A SIESTA!"
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
Randomize