I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
If I had a sex resume I'd get tons of jobs.
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
You were so high you insisted on spoon feeding me your KFC bowl while I was driving.
Was who let the dogs out playing?
Ya. You started barking when it ended
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
In the name of friendship, I’m going to kick your children into the ocean.
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
He wrote his entire dissertation last night. I can only imagine the frightening amount of headway he would make if he ever did things sober.
He waved at a guy who drove by while we were having sex in the back of a rental car in a hospital parking garage prior to visiting family. Almost made me feel guilty but I liked it too much.
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
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