His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
Someone painted a weed leaf on my leg with red paint. Or blood. I hope paint.
Holy fuck just found a used tampon in the leg of my pants. it's not paint. It's. Not. Paint.
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
You threw your body across the gross couple hooking up on the couch and demanded they scratch your back. I love you drunk on peach schnapps
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
Just made a drug contact standing in the sandwich line in the dining hall. Is this real life?
You're my fucking hero.
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