so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
Woke up with 3 sports bras for underwear. Valiant effort drunk me.
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
So much Jack, so little girl.
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
Do you wanna fuck while my apple pie is in the oven?
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
Randomize