...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
Why did you put hummus in my pillow case?
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
Hey remember that night when you sang Fergie to me? I think that's the exact moment in time when the thought "I could be faithful to this man" came into serious consideration.
I just need a text that says "put that food down bitch" and then maybe I'll lose water weight through tears
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
so i just realized the reason you didn't answer my call last night is because the remote isn't a phone.
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
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