is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
I didn't slap you in the face. TEQUILA slapped you with my hand...
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
dropping lines from Workaholics has slowly become my icebreaker when hitting on girls. who would have thought "lets get weird" would cause girls to actually get weird
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
Welp, I just herniated a vocal cord during sex. How was your night?
I just had mom give me advice about how and where to store my lube in my shower. It was super awkward. Of course, she also walked in on me masturbating once so I guess turnabout is fair play
Randomize