so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
Your wedding's just one more day in my life I can't wear sweat pants.
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
He showed up at my apartment drunk with a telescope wanting me to look at the "blown up star" in -24 degree weather, claiming "it's in the name if science"
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
Randomize
