It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
I just saw a girl drinking wine and walking her dog in footie pajamas and a mad hatter hat. First day of the new year and I think I'm in love.
I feel like you should put up a missed connections ad for this..
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
I woke up this morning fully clothed with a dart in my pocket
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
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