In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
I got eye-fucked by an 80 year old man wearing a cowboy hat while I was singing country. How do you think karaoke went?
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
There's some band that practices next door to my apartment. I'm thinking we may need to check that out. I could be like, "Hey boys, thought you might like some lemonade and vagina."
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
She made me walk a straight line to prove i was sober enough to help carry you to the car
Knowing you it was perfect out of spite. Like. A line straighter than YOU
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
It's my birthday weekend! I'm getting a Brazilian and he's going to fucking Arkansas. Where the fuck are his priorities?
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
These random guys found me. They told me not to wander in the woods and i remember saying 'am i fucking Bambi?! I'm not gonna walk into woods!' then i threw up.
Randomize