Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
cab driver says "I saw your friend who opens her legs. she went home with two guys." pretty sure he was talking about you
my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
Just bc you put "its cute" at the end of it doesn't change the fact that u have called me a vag twice this morning and its only 10:03
It's a good thing my liver is flexible because a lesser man would be dead
You grabbed my arm, said "I need you" in a very concerned voice and dragged me to the other room where you were blasting Evolution of Beyoncé.
I don't care how hot she was, she wouldn't stop singing "Shut Up and Dance", instant boner-killer.
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
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