This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
They are fixing my bike for free, trying to smoke me out, and their kids keep hugging me.
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
I just puked on the sidewalk. At 11am. Thought you'd like to know.
Just found out I lit my hair on fire last night.
Randomize
