She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
I know what you meant. If you want babies in time for your birthday, we gonna need either a time machine or a ski mask.
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
I'm 2 seconds away from smashing the bottle and drinking it off the counter with a straw.
sorry didn’t mean to call you, i was just trying to put the t-rex emoji beside your name
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
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