Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
Hey was my sperm eye the same day I crapped myself?
She just used a chaser for red wine.
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
Woke up and there was a kayak in the pool. Are you alive?
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
Don't be alarmed at the kitchen mess. I had to shoot the fire extinguisher on the toaster oven, one quick blast. It was a matter of safe over sorry.
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
You would think the bank would reward me for getting my account down to 3 cents without overdrafting it.
WHEN THE FUCK DID MCDONALD'S DECIDE TO QUIT SERVING BURGERS AT 1:00AM?
I would peed on everything
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
Are these your boobs on my camera?
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