Passed out watching pirates of caribbean with vodka in hand. Woke up to jenna jameson, with vodka gone.
also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
I wish i was in the wii world.
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
Word of advice, don't put your jar if peanut butter in the microwave, blue fire comes out
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
I just want to make out with him forever
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
I tried to get the guy I like to “spit shake” on a sexual bet... why am I such a bro fml
Randomize