I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
I'm also annoyed at my horoscope for not warning me of my perils
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
Your remote is drenched in lotion and you expect me to believe you weren't masturbating?!
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
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