No awkward lesbian experiences without me
It's like a parade of train wrecks.
Um don't talk to me about fat. I just used my chip bag to cover up all my candy wrappers in the garbage.
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
I love my life sometimes. I do miss being an adult, from time to time, but a little vodka always changes my mind.
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
Secrets from the porn industry: liTERALLY SHOVE A SEA SPONGE UP YOUR VAGINA GO ON DO IT
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
Randomize
