Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
You're just mad at the fact that I want to be a car alarm.
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
My credit card got frozen due to suspicious activity. "Let's go over your recent transaction history... it looks like these are all at bars." BITCH, DON'T JUDGE MY MONDAY NIGHTS.
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
Share, now.
So i woke up on a park bench... Using my shoe as a pillow, cuddling a empty handle of vodka... Yet I'm still in my living room. Someone please tell me why all my vodkas gone? I'll deal with the park bench situation at a later time.
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
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