Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
I drunk dialed my ex-boyfriend last night. He was sitting next to my new boyfriend. Shoot me in the face.
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
I'm dressed as a caveman and drunk so that's not really an option
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
Today is going to be a great day. He just brought me a donut on his dick... It's Sticky Dick Donut Day!!!
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
Randomize
