Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
i really wanted you to get laid last night and i didnt think you were going to. so i posted porn on your facebook.it made sense at 3am
I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
At least she'll always have a story about the time she showed up to the emergency room drunk and covered in chocolate syrup on her birthday.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO BE A DRUNK WHEN ALL MY ENABLERS ARE BUSY?!
Randomize
