VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
I am unfriending an ex-one night stand because his profile picture is of his wife's ultrasound.
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
i need some magic done to my vagina
I think he thought I was too drunk to handle his parrot
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
Do I have to cook for the potluck? Can I just bring a costco size bottle of Vodka?
Sitting in my junior high parking lot high on ambien talking to a stranger I met on tinder. What is life?
Randomize
