why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
the semester isnt officially over until i take the batteries out of my calculator and put them back into my vibrator
Just had to explain my "wine me. Dine me. Sixty-nine me" key chain to my grandma...she took it surprisingly well.
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
To celebrate your birthday last night, I got drunk and sang drift away in buffalo wild wings. Happy birthday. The entire bar sang the chorus with me. It was magical.
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
She just texted me that she's horny, then started quoted random music, then telling me everything she regrets. I don't think there's enough tequila in the world for me to deal with her...
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
I kind of just assumed by how he whisked eggs that he would be bad in bed.
I've never been so turned off by an omelet.
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
Randomize
