So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
She leaned in close to me, made eye contact, and seriously whispered "I will eat your soul with bacon bits." I want whatever drug she was on.
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
The time stamp on this text message is reason enough alone to not leave me unsupervised
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
I'm sitting in the car vaping at an elementary school to try and deal with the stress of existing. About how i thought being 30 would go for me tbh
Randomize
