You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
I legit just said "vaginal access denied" then told him his password hint was "tequila shots"
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
Dude, sorry for live texting you my binge drinking. If you'd like me to do the same for my hangover, I can share that I just had to sit down while q-tipping my ears.
Frats are adorable. They make mediocre guys think they're worth a shit.
...the American dream.
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
Well my sober pact lasted almost an hour. Then I did four shots. But in other news, one of those shots I took with a midget. So like I couldn't turn that shit down.
If you're going to drink sriracha straight from the bottle whilst crying, at least wear the giant sombrero for the enjoyment of your audience.
Pro: She likes to masturbate to 50 shades of grey. Con: She reads 50 Shades of grey non-ironically.
Randomize