you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
So random guy from last night came over tonight. I told myself I wasn't going to sleep with him but he had some killer dirty talk and a big penis in his arsenal...what was I supposed to do? Supposedly he lost his virginity to his wife and since their divorce a year ago I'm the 1st girl he's slept with, I feel like I just re-took his virginity...I feel like a rockstar.
theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
Hangovers were designed by God when he decided that so far he had taken it WAY TOO EASY on me.
eggs and jello shots do not qualify as 'brunch'
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir
That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
Randomize
