You got in a fight last night?
Yeah! Some dude in the bathroom...he was standing there and I notice he's got the same shirt as me on so I'm like...dude you should have called me, we look like idiots...he didn't say anything...so i got pissed and hit him...completely decimated and my hand was all bloody and covered with glass afterward...weird dude, never saw him again that night or since.
Um...Did this guy happen to look almost exactly like you?
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
operation have a gay friend backfired
my mom told me that she didn't count me in the census because im a waste of life anyway.
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
Dude. Where are you? I'm making waffles in the waffle iron. It's beautiful.
A 3am FaceTime to go to IHOP is the closest thing to a bootycall that I'm getting
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
Randomize
