I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
Trying to figure out if I'm the second dude she hooked up with yesterday. I feel like a consolation prize
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
The bank teller laughed at me....I'm apparently that fucking hungover looking
All I wanted was my $85. Judgement free. But nooooo
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
I'm sorry I tried to stab you. I just really wanted those mozerella sticks.
Yeah well, last time I said I wasn't having a big night I was being strangled in somebody's spare bed
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
Randomize
