WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
I replied to the university automated mass text about the armed robbery at the on-campus Starbucks with a sad face. Basically sums up my night.
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
Hi. This might be awkward, but I met you on saturday at about 330 am. I have to admit I don't remember your name, what we talked about, or various details of how I got home. What I do remember is that I was invested enough in getting your number to ask my cab driver for a pen to write it down since my phone was dead. So do you want to meet, soberer, some time?
Hey bro I think you got the wrong number I'm a dude
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
Bear grylls would be proud of my improvisation. Just used her vibrator to massage my back after hurting it at work.
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
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